Story Time | Tampons

 ^^here is a fabulously awkward picture of me falling off a wall.  it goes. trust me, it goes.

i never thought about money growing up. like actually never. we lived in a few places but one of the best houses was out in the middle of the peanut fields in suffolk virginia where my siblings and i ran wild through the tall grass and played in the mud. we ended each night of the summer by climbing up into the old satellite dish at the back of our property and watched the sun go down. it was beautiful. it was my childhood.

i suppose in the worlds eyes we didn't have much in the money department. but we had everything we needed and we loved life, so i thought we were rich. the older i get the more i am able to see how the rest of the world lives and let me tell you, its pretty fancy. i don't fault anyone for having money, i actually think it must be nice. but i do see a big difference and sometimes i get a little overwhelmed with it all.

so story time. this month i have been second shooting weddings for a very talented photographer who is teaching me many things. light, posing, (how to use my stupid flash) and businessy things. also how to think about life and the reasons we have armpit hair. did i mention he was really funny? i spend the car rides laughing me head off. anyway, he shoots some pretty high end weddings and while i find them completely lovely, i get ...ehem, overwhelmed at times.

one of the past weddings i just couldn't stop looking around at the ballroom. it was beautiful and i wanted to take the entire table scape back to my house. the lighting coming in all the windows made it glow with rich golden color and i wanted to set up a bed and never leave. swanky, i believe is the word that kept coming to mind. i made a mental note that no one at this wedding was wearing anything from target. so everyone must be rich.

well, if i thought the ballroom was nice, i was blown away when mid evening, i headed to the bathroom for a potty break. i have never seen the likes of a bathroom like this. forget the ballroom, move my bed in here and i will live forever. each stall was its own room and each little potty room had floor to ceiling hand painted wallpaper. i sat there (just being honest here...) on the toilet running my hands over the walls in wonder. i want this in my house, i want to rip a piece off and frame it in my house. it was so beautiful. i was in love. as a turned around to flush, (with my hand because this is not the type of place you flush with your foot.) i saw a shelf above the commode which held ladies toiletry items neatly arranged in a basket. "how thoughtful!" i said in my head. "they really think of everything!" i was still deeply enthralled with the bathroom and all its glory when i came charging out of the stall, tunnel vision to the sink because who knows what other great things this place held.

and i charged right into a wedding guest.

it was one of those moments where arms are flailing, and neither one wants to fall over so you just naturally grab each other for support. my hands gripped her elbows, her hands latched onto my upper arms. and for a split second we just stood there. gripping each other and looking shocked.

now, if you know me, you know that when i get flustered things just start flying out of my mouth to try to help the situation. most of the time they don't all. but there i was, holding a strangers elbows, and my mouth just took over.

"hey there's free tampons in there!!"

my words came flying out of my mouth and hit the air with such force it shocked us into holding on for a few more seconds. then, the only way i know how to describe it, she looked at me like i had just invited her into my double wide to watch the price is right and eat corn dogs.

and we let go at the same time.

i washed my hands and tried to hide my face that was getting redder by the minute. why oh why had that just come out of my mouth! i wanted to tell her that i can totally afford tampons i just thought it was such a kind gesture by the country club. you know, really classy! but i figured the more i talked about tampons the weirder this encounter would be. so with one last glance at the beautiful wallpaper, i headed back to the ballroom.

i walked up to micah and said, "i just made myself look really, really poor."

the moral of the story kids is that i need to learn how to act around fancy people. and to not use the word tampon in a sentence when you are holding a stranger in the bathroom. and also to laugh at yourself because that will bring you a lot of joy. and really what else can you do but laugh?

happy friday.

Posted on June 11, 2014 .