Fill Up.

i'm a naturally happy person. its funny, i was just talking to my parents about what a terrible baby i was. Crab-igail they used to call me. i was always fussy err...screaming and i drove my mom crazy. then i don't know what happened but i just mellowed out. i come from a pretty uhh... passionate family but it turns out i follow my mama in demeanor. i like to think we are "chill" me and mom.

i like to laugh. i like to smile. i like to encourage and to be encouraged. i like it when friends talk about what the Lord is doing in their lives. i like singing. i like dancing. i like being happy.

but sometimes negativity worms its way into my daily life like a yucky parasite. i don't even know its there at first but then it starts coming out of my mouth (that happens i've read books...) and that stinking negative nastiness shows up. and its gross and its hideous and i hate it. but just like a tapeworm its hard to get rid of! it stays in me for a long time and i feel like i have to constantly fight it down.

today i woke up with a headache, it was humid, and i had so much work to do. i was in such a terrible mood and thankfully, no one but my dog was there to experience abbey on the war path. (sorry pete!) my insides were in a fit and my bad mood fueled all the little things that went wrong and made them a huge deal. then the power went out, my dog flipped, and i yelled at him to go away. 

aaaand then i was horrified. i love my dog. i mean, he is an idiot. but he is the sweetest idiot there is! and also he is a dog and has no idea what i'm saying. and i felt so stupid for having a bad attitude with him. nothing was his fault. as i packed my bag to go work at my favorite coffee shop i told the Lord i didn't know what was eating me and to please help me get my attitude in check. i pulled out of my driveway feeling very yucky and empty.

i felt empty because i was.

two day since i read my bible. two days without really solid music. two days without a good prayer time. i'll admit that sometimes in the stress of travel and shooting i fall into bed without filling up on Jesus. and boy does it make some empty space in my heart. did you know when there is empty space somethings going to fill it. negativity can get in because there is room for it to get it.

so i filled up today. lots of Jesus words, lots of gospel music. tears were cried, joy was once again romping around in my mortal body. you know how to get rid of a parasite? you drink vinegar. you know why they drank vinegar in bible times? it refreshed the spirit. 

 

Posted on April 7, 2015 .